A bit scary

The last few weeks have been very busy and so having to go back to college was the last thing I wanted to do: too much to do here, too many people who need to be seen. All in all it's been a bit scary trying to find my feet and what will and won't work with the people God has given me to love. Having landed at Cliff College last Monday morning all that was on my mind were my three churches and the church councils which I needed to prepare for and couldn't. I wasn't happy with my preaching style (and still stung by the comment about not preaching opinions)all I wanted to do was address myriad issues. On top of all that the college module was one that I didn't want to do. The module on Celtic spirituality was what I wanted to read about but that wasn't until November and the timing meant that I would have had to do two modules at once. I know I'm OK at getting things done, but that would have stretched me, especially over Christmas.

But having got to Cliff College everythging changed. First of all, it's an excellent place for academic study. Secondly it gave me some time out to think more objectively about Church and more specifically, my three churches. Thirdly though, it was very affirming. I have found that the last six weeks have been very lonely in that it's hard to share my thoughts with people (they can be a little unusual for some - I am after all reading about Emerging Chruch) but at Cliff it was like God was saying, 'Tim, that feeling you have about this and that really isn't so strange after all'. I took the first morning prayers and suggested that we could be free in our prayers to God even if we didn't feel we could be free with each other and I gave some personal testimony. It seemed to resonate with the other students.

Having returned now to chuch life I'm glad I went. It was freeing and liberating even if it was a bit scary - a bit like trying to follow Jesus really.